Questioners not allowed at “HIV Controllers” forum

December 5, 2009

I have probably spent at least ten thousand hours online the last ten years or so and I am still stumbling onto new blogs and websites that deal with HIV and AIDS issues from various perspectives, so I’m pretty familiar with the most common inconsistencies, aka “mysteries”, of the HIV=AIDS hypothesis.  Still, I was taken aback recently when I was told I would not be allowed to participate in, or even monitor a forum for long term survivors like myself, solely because I consider myself an open-minded questioner of the AIDS orthodoxy.

You see,  I recently read a press release at about a new forum for “HIV Controllers”, those people who test positive on the antibody test developed by Robert Gallo, the now discredited one-time “discoverer” of the HI virus, but who do not get sick, or perhaps do not even test for a “viral load”, despite not taking any so-called antiretroviral drugs. The press release was from the Zephyr Foundation, founded by 16-year-survivor Loreen Willenberg.

I wanted to know if I fit the category of a HIV controller. I have never had one of the “AIDS-defining” opportunistic infections, though I do have a detectable viral load that bounces around erratically. I have also technically met the definition of “AIDS” by having had a cd4 count of less than 200, three times in 2002, which was the last year I took antiretroviral drugs (ARVs). Lately that count has been averaging about 400, though like the VL, it is also a moving target.
When I first contacted Willenberg about joining the newly announced forum, I shared this same basic history and background to find out if I met the forum’s definition of a HIV Controller. This was her initial response: Read the rest of this entry »


Happy Birthday, Michael

November 22, 2009

Michael and I have been together nearly 30 years.  Most of those years we have had dogs.  When our last dog died two years ago, we decided we needed a break from the responsibility and expense of pet ownership.  I could tell Michael missed Lucy and Shadow and realized how much he had doted on them, especially Shadow, who was “his” dog.  We have had two sets of dogs in our life together, both pairs of sisters.

Bella and Kali

When I saw these faces on Petfinder last week, it was the beginning of the end of our childless lives.  Yesterday we adopted these two sisters and named them Kali and Bella.  Kali is Hawaiian for “black” and Bella means “beautiful” in Italian.

Funny how time distorts our memories.  The last 36 hours have reminded us why they are called “puppies”!  Despite trying the crate training method, we have had more than a couple of accidents, of course.  As we put them in their crate for the evening after our first round of training lessons, we both sighed and shook our heads, but agreed that we are glad we did this and that it feels like a good match.

Our cat, Jackson, was raised by dogs, but he is not so sure about puppies either.  Fortunately he hasn’t freaked out as much as I feared he might, but he hasn’t interacted with them yet either.

Meanwhile, I have now been motivated to finish fencing in the back yard.  Lovely project to be undertaking in Kansas City in November!

Oh… and Michael’s birthday is this Friday.  Happy Birthday sweetheart!


Michael with our previous dogs, Lucy and Shadow, a few years ago


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Leg is better, thanks for asking

October 23, 2009

I just completed the third week of therapy for my left leg. A combination of compression therapy, using elastic bandages, and manual lymph drainage massage has produced some promising results. The swelling is gone, the infection has cleared and all the sores have healed… for the first time in years. I only wish now that I had resisted taking more antibiotics before doing this.

Now I am also facing a decision about continuing to take warfarin to “thin” my blood as a preventative against future clots.  I am having to frequently adjust my dosage and have yet to maintain a steady level, based on INR.  Some days my INR has been so high that it puts me at risk of internal bleeding.  Once again, I’m aware of the possibility that the “cure” is as bad as the potential illness.

I will continue to wear compression stockings and perform a set of exercises intended to stimulate my lymphatic system.

The scars of several years of painful sores remain to remind me of what I have been through. Hopefully, those too will fade with time and continued care.

I am extremely grateful to Dr. Cheryl Morgan, PhD and her staff at Therapy Concepts for their help and healing touch.

Before (9/24/09)

Before (9/24/09)

4 weeks later

4 weeks later

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J Todd DeShong – Baylor Health’s online AIDS diagnostician – UPDATED

September 26, 2009

Normally I wouldn’t want to waste this much time or bandwidth on such a matter, but the questionable activities involved justify calling this insignificant gnat out.  He’s finally irritated me enough that I have to swat him.  Besides, I’m off my feet for a few days and have some extra time on my hands, or maybe it’s just a side effect of the  antibiotic.

The leg

I recently woke up with a sudden, acute bacterial infection in my left leg, the same leg that has had two DVT blood clots in three years and has a history of recurring and slow-healing sores.  The name for the condition that results in this type of skin problem in the leg is called venous insufficiency and the sores are venous ulcers.  It is not uncommon (unlike, say… Kaposi sarcoma).

I know what the problem is and I am aware of a treatment center I want to go to that offers a non-invasive and drug-free protocol that even Medicare is convinced helps.

I posted a picture of my leg, seeking opinions about using antibiotics to treat it, on the website AIDS Myth Exposed, which I help moderate. I  had some ulterior motives, as I wanted to see what members’ reaction would be, considering some them seem to be opposed to all allopathic interventions, regardless of circumstances. I expected a variety of responses and got some.

Unsolicited email diagnosis and digital sleuthing

J Todd DeShong, in over his head

J Todd DeShong, in over his head

I was pretty surprised when that post resulted in a comment on this, my personal blog, from an anti-“AIDS denialist” activist who is well known among some of us AIDS questioners for his taunting and abusive personality and caustic, even toxic writing style. I really wasn’t so much shocked that J Todd DeShong would email me with his “concern”  as I was amazed that he advised me from his workplace, Baylor Health Care Systems in Dallas, that I seek medical care for Kaposi sarcoma, a serious and rare cancer!

The IP address in question was included in the email WordPress forwards to me with every new comment, and it belongs to Baylor Health Care Systems.  This same IP address is one of, if not  the  most frequent visitor to the resistance is fruitful blog, according to, a tracking service I use. I’ve been curious for some time who this regular visitor to my blog might be. Now I know. (Hi Todd!)

DeShong has visited this blog from his work IP address at least Read the rest of this entry »

“House of Number” viewers agree to disagree

August 14, 2009

Two “HIV-positive” viewers with completely different opinions and experiences recommend this film.

Now showing at film festivals in the U.S. and Europe.  Check their website for current schedule, or sign up there for email alerts to find out when it will screen in your area.

Must-see “AIDS” film to show in KC

August 13, 2009

the HIV/AIDS story is being rewritten

the HIV/AIDS story is being rewritten

I’ve been anxiously waiting to see House of Numbers, the most talked about documentary dealing with AIDS this year. Now the film has been booked to show at the Kansas International Film Festival next month.

To get an idea of the significance of the confusing and contradictory comments made by leading AIDS researchers around the world, watch the trailer here.

House of Numbers stirred quite a row of controversy when it screened in Boston this Spring, then went on to be awarded the “Best of Festival” at Golden Colorado’s Docuwest Film Festival last week.

The film will be shown Sunday,  September 20 at 3:10 pm at the Glenwood Theatre, 9575 Metcalf Ave in Overland Park. (NOTE: Date has been corrected from my original post.)

If anyone else is interested in meeting after the film for discussion, please contact me and I’ll see what can be arranged.

  • “We can be exposed to HIV many times without being chronically infected. Our immune system will get rid of the virus within a few weeks, if you have a good immune system.”

– Luc Montagnier, 2008 Nobel Laureate for Discovery of HIV, in the documentary “House of Numbers,” 2009

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Help send a missionary to Oakland (updated)

July 19, 2009
This picture from the August 4, 1978 Newsweek shows me boosting a fellow religious zealot over a wall during "boot camp".

This picture from the August 4, 1978 issue of Newsweek shows me boosting a fellow religious zealot over a wall during "boot camp".

I really want to attend the 2009 Rethinking AIDS conference, to be held in Oakland this fall, but am not sure I’ll be able to afford it since Michael has just been laid off from his job.

Asking for money is not a new experience for me. Getting it, however is another story. My first attempt at mission work was as a teenager. I spent a summer in Brasil building a dormitory for Teen Missions.

In the decades since then I’ve helped raise tens of thousands of dollars on behalf of other gay and AIDS-related causes, as well a political race for city council.

I didn’t raise enough money to pay for that trip to Brasil and I don’t expect to for this conference either, but I’m still willing to ask for help. I expect it will cost $700-800 to go.

If anyone can spare a few bucks, I promise to report on the experience here. I will also post a full accounting for donations and expenses, and in the extremely unlikely event more is donated than is needed to pay for airfare, lodging and conference fees (really, who are we kidding?), I’ll donate the balance to Rethinking AIDS. Fair enough?


UPDATE:  For a variety of reasons, I no longer plan to attend the RA2009 conference and have received no donations to do so.  I’ll leave this post up as wishful thinking and for the sake of former notoriety.



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